Manipulation Tactics Within the Church (DARVO)
What is DARVO and what does it look like in a church or ministry setting? Let’s break this down. DARVO is a manipulation tactic that stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—it can play out in any relationship but the purpose of this post is to show what it looks like in a church setting.
1. Deny
The pastor is confronted (privately or publicly) by someone who says: “I am concerned about some of the things I am experiencing and seeing here.” “I have heard concerning things about why people are leaving, are they true?” “I am concerned about control happening here.” or “I am witnessing sin issues within leadership and I am concerned.”
The pastor responds: “I would never seek to hurt anyone.” “That’s not happening at this church.” “I am not controlling anyone.” He denies the behavior, despite evidence or repeated concerns. The leader dismisses the concern and frames it as a misunderstanding, confusion or as spiritual immaturity on the part of the person raising the concern.
2. Attack
Instead of self-examination or true repentance, the leader attacks and attempts to discredit the person bringing the concern or asking the question. Something like this may be said: “They are bitter.” “They have a Jezebel spirit.”“They are entitled.” “They have a spirit of offense.” or “They are divisive and trying to stir up drama in the body of Christ. Mark and avoid them.”
The leader may shift focus onto the person bringing the concern. often questioning their motives or credibility. This can be done directly to the individual when questions are asked, done through sermons and teachings, or things are said to others in private.
3. Reverse Victim and Offender
The pastor or leader now positions themselves as the victim by saying something like: “People are coming against this move of God.” “I’ve been under spiritual attack —Satan is using people to try to destroy this ministry.” “I don’t care what demon tries to take down this ministry, we are not going anywhere.” “I pour my life out for this church, and I am being disrespected and dishonored.” “The enemy is attacking us because we have a great mandate and call.” or “This church is under attack and someone is trying to harm us, we must be careful of what outside voices we listen to.” The original victim is now seen as the aggressor, while the actual aggressor (the pastor/leader) is seen as the wounded, misunderstood servant of God. This shift in narrative allows the leader to be seen as the one who is misunderstood or under attack, which often leads to others rallying around them to accept their version of events.
Whether it’s intentional or unintentional this creates much confusion for people and it silences victims, making them question their own experience and perception. It shields the pastor or leader from true accountability and it turns the listening audience against those who are seeking truth, asking questions, and simply seeking for leaders to have true accountability. When DARVO tactics are used it can make people feel confused, guilty, ashamed, vilified, emotionally drained, and spiritually manipulated. People may think they are the problem, when they are actually the ones discerning THE problem.
Many times when people who perceive issues and then choose to leave these environments, DARVO will be used by leadership in efforts to prevent others from leaving the church or think that something is wrong. People who leave are often attacked and their character is assassinated. The leader will proclaim that the people who leave are being influenced by the enemy or that they are bitter and divisive. This insulates leadership from true accountability and deters others from asking questions. The leader presents a version of events that encourages other to see the situation from their perspective and align with their interpretation.
Is this form of manipulation happening at your church? How do you identify it?
Are sermons you hear “calling out” individuals or situations without naming them? Is there repeated labeling of dissent or disagreement as rebellion, gossip, spiritual attacks or persecution? If someone quietly or publicly brings up issues like spiritual manipulation, false teaching, or misuse of authority are they suddenly no longer seen in leadership, on stage, or even in the building? If you’re seeing these things in your church environment it is wisdom to take a step back and ask yourself — “Is this what Jesus would do?”
A true shepard welcomes correction (Proverbs 9:8-9), leads gently (1 Peter 5:2-3) and restores in love, never shaming or attacking anyone (Galatians 6:1). When leaders are serving and leading the flock like Jesus you will experience peace, stability and security — never anger, control or retaliation. If you’re feeling condemned, manipulated, afraid or confused — call on the Good Shepard; He is faithful to lead you to still waters.
