Toxic Leaders Do Not Like Exposure
Toxic leaders do not like exposure. They will do everything they can to silence those who speak truth, because they don’t want the truth to be seen.
The very people who once followed them blindly, but now see clearly, become a threat. Their eyes are open, and their voice now exposes what was once hidden. But what we do in the dark always comes to light.
When someone in leadership mistreats those under their care — through lying, manipulation, dividing relationships, biblical error or control — they should not expect silence from the people they’ve harmed. Scripture calls us to warn others. Truth is not judgment, truth is freedom.
But toxic leaders don’t want others to be free. They desire control. They want followers who believe their narrative, dismiss the truth, and defend their image without question. Rather than taking responsibility they blame others or blame demons for the very real problems they themselves created.
When the consequences of their choices begin to surface — the broken relationships, the wounded people, the lies, the spiritual damage, they DARVO:
• Deny or deflect from wrongdoing
• Attack the one who speaks up
• Reverse the roles of victim and offender
They twist the story. They label truth-tellers as divisive or demonic. They call what is good “evil” and what is evil “good.” They present themselves as the victim to avoid ever being truly seen. They twist motives. They spiritualize the backlash. They portray themselves as the wounded while vilifying those seeking honesty and healing.
They become the “persecuted servant of God” and portray the truth-teller as “bitter, offended, and under a demonic influence.” And tragically, many people fall for the performance. I know I once did until I started to do what scripture instructs me to do and started looking at the fruit.
If you’ve found yourself in or on the other side of one of these situations, please hear this, telling the truth is not sinful, demonic or wrong. Telling the truth is good and right.
Your story matters. And your voice might be the very thing God uses to help others still caught in deception and spiritual abuse. The truth has the power to set people free — not just you, but those who are still silently suffering under manipulation, fear, or control.
For far too long, people have been afraid to speak up. So they’ve stayed silent about very real experiences — experiences that, in some cases, shipwrecked their faith, wounded their families and friendships, traumatized them and distorted their view of God. But silence doesn’t protect the church, it protects abusers. Truth is good and we should never let someone try to convince us that it is not.
